Tiny rant.

Ok so I need to blow off some steam and can't think of a better place to do it. You don't have to listen. I just need to type.

SO it's 18 days until I get married and I totally wish I'd eloped. And that's not just idle words from a slightly stressed girl, that's 100% honest 20/20 hindsight from a crazy lady who cries at every little thing now. And I know what you are all thinking... poooor little muffin, how hard it must be to get married. *eye roll* and you'd be right too. That's what all my single friends tell me. "Shut up! Any one of us would kill to switch places!" which of course makes me cry again...

I hate being the center of attention. I mean, I like giving speeches and that sort of thing, but I am shaking at the thought of being the BRIDE all day. I don't want to do a first dance, don't want to walk down the aisle, don't want to stand in front of everyone and cut the cake... I just wish we had run away to Disney World, got married, came back and had a frickin' party. Why didn't we elope!?!? GAH! And Johnny's no better. He wants to be the center of attention even less!

Don't get me wrong, everything is done. Everyone is booked and things are bought and done and whatever all else. And I'm not afraid that something will go wrong on the day. I don't care. It'll go off just fine and in the end we'll be married and no one will ever know that the centerpieces were an inch to the wrong side. Nah, that's not my worry. In fact, other than the center of attention thing, I don't know what is!

For example... my friend wants a dog. I've been pushing SPCA, she wants a purebred. (She's very brand oriented. So that makes sense for her). Today she wrote a cheque for a deposit on a purebred dog. I cried my eyes out. AGH! And this just keeps happening! Little things that really should not matter in my life are making me crazy! And I know it's the wedding stress coming out! I need to find a way to relax.

Well for now I'm going to use the nervous energy to clean my house. I have a thousand people coming to stay between my parents' house and mine for the wedding and I'm going to need a full 18 days to clean mine... turns out I'm a crappy house keeper.

Oi vey.

If you don;t want to do a first dance or cut the cake in front of everyone, you certainly don't have to. Who says you have to follow silly little traditions - make it your own wedding... do what you want. I didn't want to make a thank you speech at my reception and I didn't. Not that I wasn't thankful, I just was terrified of speaking in front of my family and friends. I opted to remove that stress.

If I get married again, I wouldn't even bother having a "reception". I would do as my mom and stepdad did and have an all day open house (bbq, drinks and music) the day following the wedding. It was much more enjoyable.

The bit about walking down the aisle though, sorry, I think you just might have to do that one.

Oh dear. I'm not a good one to give any advice in the marriage department. I've gotten married 3 times and it seems that each time I ended up doing things that I didn't want to do, but I sucked it up and did it because it was expected. The first one was a big wedding - it was definitely for my mom - she had a ball. I didn't even help organize it. Just showed up, did my part, stayed married for a few years and then got divorced.

Number 2 was a private wedding on my sailboat. It was a great idea and something that I wanted to do however the day of the wedding it was blowing a friggin' gale. Instead of cancelling the boat idea in the interest of safety, I sucked it up and spent the hour before my wedding clinging desperately to the bow of the sailboat, looking for a safe place to dock. It was so windy that when the priest came onboard he looked like Batman with his cape just flying. The ceremony went ahead but we were stuck in that spot for 3 days until the weather improved. And during that weekend the city had a Teddy Bear Picnic at the park where we were tied up so all weekend little kids were peering down at the boat. Not overly romantic ...

Wedding 3 was for immediate family only at took place at the cabin. But to keep the clan happy (and there are alot of them) we had a reception at my sister-in-laws house. 70 people - most of whom I didn't know. Neither Gord nor I wanted it but we did it for the family. Gord made it clear that he didn't want to do a first dance but they put on the music anyways, announced the dance and then Gord disappeared. I was super embarrassed so his brother came and danced with me.

My advice to you - if there are certain things that you two don't want to do, then don't. Unfortunately if you are getting married in a church or hall it's pretty hard not to "walk down the aisle". Perhaps you can make it a shorter walk by starting half way down.

You're probably feeling the stress of having so many people around too. That drives me nuts. No time for yourself, everyone is asking you what's going on, etc, etc. I'd be off my friggin' head. Just remember that you can rant all you want on here and we'll listen. It's a great outlet!

oh Wendy.. one day you will look back at this and laugh.. your children and grand children will be happy looking at your wedding pics.. I really don't think it's the wedding that's got you in a knot it's everything leading up to the wedding.. Take a deep breath and think it will all be over in one day... one day.. hang in there kid.. you'll be fine.. Rant all you like if it helps.. we will listen.. and I truly understand where your coming from.. been there don't that.. and hated every minute too!!!!!!!!

As far as Tammy goes.. ummmm hehehehe... Tammy, it's not doing it until you got it right.. it's doing it once and if that doesn't pan out.. rose it.. you know that old saying fool me once shame on you , fool me twice .. blah blah blah..

Well ladies I thank you kindly for your words of advice. A lot of things I am doing differently. Screw tradition, I'm not all about that. We're not having speeches, we're condensing the first dances (and we're only doing those because Johnny and his mother want to). The walking down the aisle thing will be ok. I'll shake a lot but I'll get through it. I guess I could skip the cutting the cake!!

I like 'non-traditional'...make your own traditions...Steve and I had a very small front garden wedding with only about 25 people. I was a wreck the last month leading up to it, and he laughed about it. The day of the main event though, I was organized and calm nothing fazed me. He on the other hand was ready to faint the whole time we were doing our vows...so just breathe and do your own thing, it will all work out....but a word to the wise, don't let an 18 year old be in charge of the 'aisle' music...he found the beer early it seems and I ended up walking down to 'the great white north' by bob and doug mackenzie....and yes Joan, it was very untraditional. I had my 'wedding' shades and sneakers on under the white silk dress!...remember to laugh, I know you will later!

I wish I had known about this early this morning...Sooke and I drove by your house .....we would have stopped in an made you laugh......I know you think you are going out of your mind........but really no one will give a darn if your house has some dust bunnies...and besides that............you know how I talk.......f..k them if they cant take a joke.......Wendy, you and Johnny have to have some place to call your own for at least 10mins without the CROWD driving you nuts.......hey, my 3rd wedding I rode my horse and Ed rode his Harley.......although you wont want to do it more than ONCE ........find a happy place in your heads......you will be off to Disney in no time.........and if you really need to get away.......SURVIVOR CAMP is this weekend.......come down.......just one night........laugh with us and get drunk................ I have no other words of wisdom.............wish I could make you stop crying and laugh some more.

This is your wedding, and it is all about the two of you. Sure, that means you spend some time in the spotlight, but really, it should be all about what makes the both of you happy. This is your celebration. There are some 'traditional norms' you are expected to adhere to in order to make your families happy and what not, but all in all, do what you are comfortable with. Do what feels right to you. When it all boils down to it, on that day, everything will be a blur to you except Johnny, and vice versa. Don't let it stress you, get one helluva expensive bottle of wine, some fantastic bath products, and relax. Do normal things that make you happy, and try to live for yourself. Water off the ducks back and all that jazz. Think of it, everything about the wedding is done, you have a beautiful home, a happy relationship, this wedding is just the icing on the cake. Make it what you want.

But seriously, spend a few days doing what you love, have some wine, a bubble bath, and make Johnny rub your toes. He has been pixie over tea kettle for you for years, he'll do it! You guys have all your ducks in a row, and your wedding is just the ceremony to top that all together. De-stress yourselves!


ETA: I agree with Joan, Survivor, one night, good food, good people, a good drunk, and lots and lots of laughs.

Oh, if you'll permit me to add to my rant.

The *NEW* girl at work keeps taking time off and I have to cover for her. She was scheduled to work Saturday, and I was off -- which never happens, by the way -- so I thought I'd get to go to the Survivor camp. Didn't she call off for Saturday too. Not "Can I have Sat. off?" but "I won't be in Cape Breton at all Saturday. So I can't work" even after I told her I couldn't cover her shift! Now the boss is pissed, but there's not much I can do, I may have to skip camp and work her shift.

Also...

I told my maid of honour that I didn't want a bachelorette party. SHE's the party girl, certainly not me. I literally don't drink at all... (um, more on that later.) But she's planning one anyway and she won't tell me what it is. Now for most people that might sound great, but to me it sounds like a party I won't like. I hate surprises so much. I told her to call it off and she told me to suck it up. In other words, she's making it all about her. I just wish someone would listen to me and what I want. I mean, not like I'm a main party in this wedding or anything.

Because really, at this point I might as well have some more stress.

So yeah back to the alcohol... I don't drink at all. Can't stand the taste. Too bad, because right about now I'd probably be sipping on a little more earlier and earlier every evening. The bath products I can do though. And I have a Bleeding heart of a bathtub.

I'm just a stressy type person. Always. Even if everything is done and everyone is happy and comfortable and my house is clean, I'm still going to stress. The best thing for me to do is write it out, evaluate it in print, realize I'm being an buttercup, and move on.

as for this SURPRISE PARTY...........dont go.......THAT WILL BE THE BIGGEST SURPRISE.........and I hope your boss fired that witch........and there would be enough non alcholic beverages here for you to sup......no worries........we can still all laugh and have fun without drinking............but you do have ONE BITCHING BATHTUB....... :cowboyhound.gi

just joan wrote:

as for this SURPRISE PARTY...........dont go.......THAT WILL BE THE BIGGEST SURPRISE.........

I literally just laughed out loud. That sounds good to me.
And I'm very good at having a laugh with a non alcoholic drink. Got used to it, haha. I'm going to see what can be done about Saturday. I get to work with the boss today. He's fantastic, but a little too passive sometimes.

How are things going?

Very very well, thanks for asking. In fact, when I saw "Tiny rant." by teekathepony my first thought was "what the Bleeding heart was I ranting about??" hahaha.

Things are really coming together just fine for the wedding. We are not doing a few of the ceremonial things that spotlight us, we're skipping speeches, cake cutting, etc. Although there are a few that we have to do, and I'm beginning to be ok with it. Things are done, we're getting things payed for, we are beyond nervous and have ventured into the "I hardly care" sort of calm. Which might be false, but it's getting me to sleep at night!

As for the bachelorette party, I mayyyy have forced Johnny to tell me what he knows. Which isn't much, but it makes me feel a LOT better. There will be no drinking, no partying, no strippers, no penis paraphernalia, no crazies. She's kidnapping me for an over night outing somewhere calm and relaxing and enjoyable and I'm thinking perhaps spa, which is an idea she toyed with once upon a time. I also know approximately who's going, and it's all my best girls.

In THREE DAYS we pick up Carolin from the airport!! That's my German. She was my exchange student in 2003/04 and we've kept up a good friendship and visited a few times. She's my bridesmaid and I can't wait to see her again.

AND my maid of honour who currently lives in Ottawa will be home the next day. And my cousin who I haven't seen in almost a year will be home tomorrow! I'm very excited.

So call it a complete 180 turn around.

THANK GOODNESS! Enjoy visiting with your friends and having a great time. Oh yah, and enjoy the wedding too!

thank god for that!!!!!!!!!!1 wooo hoo........saw your dad taking the trailer home to set up for some of your visitors.......have fun with the ARRIVEES...... and give yourself permission to just have fun............BEST WISHES TO YOU AND JOHNNY......