a Rant a Big Rant

I am wondering what happen to the kids these days, they know it all, knows whats best, treat adults like thistle, talk back, be rude, think they have all the right answers to everything when they are so wrong!! Don't they think some of us went through what they going through now! Going down the wrong road that we have been on or a friend has been on, I know sometimes you have to let them figure it out, but when is enough, enough? They don't care who they hurt in the process to get what THEY want because they know it all... God I love kids but sometimes I just want to smack they up side of thier heads, I know that is wrong in this centry but the little buggers get away with way to much and they need it.. I have some good friends going through some nasty thistle with kds that they don't derserve at all..

I don't have kids so mine is just a bystanders observation. It seems like my generation of parents (yes, I likely should have kids by now ) want to be best friends with their kids. They don't want to discipline them for fear of their kids disliking them. It's crazy. They have given their kids everything they wanted, let them get away with all kinds of crap to which there were never really any consequences for. Then they expect their now teenagers (and we all know that phase is difficult to deal with at the best of times) to be respectful, grafteful and accountable for their actions. I see my nephews growing up this way and it bugs the crap out of me. I don't know if my brother doesn't see how shitty his kids behave or he just doesn't care anymore. I find it hard to like them because they are so bloody greedy, mouthy and disrespectful.

And it really can't all be blamed on parenting - I don't mean to bash your friends you are talking about - they may be doing a lot of things right. Kids tend to act as their friends do, even if they know better.

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smack they up side of thier heads, I know that is wrong in this centry but the little buggers get away with way to much and they need it..

Being raised by parents who used physical punishment I don't know why it is all of a sudden wrong. This has probably been the first time in history that kids aren't being punished this way. Look at all the great people that did great things to advance the way we live over the past century. I'm pretty sure getting a smack on the pixie didn't damage them physcologically. Now I know people will disagree with me on that but it's just my opinion.

I was no angel growing up, but when I did wrong, I was punished swiftly and often times severely and I thought twice about doing it again, that's for sure. I paved the way for my sister I guess, because all the things I would've been drawn and quartered for (jeez, things I'd be drawn and quartered for now) she can do with no consequence. At 16, she is a spoiled hellion who expects and takes and get a snit on if she can't have, causing her to get it anyway. Mouthy, disrespectful, greedy and completely without consequence. I'd love to smack her upside the head if I thought it would do any good!

I also agree on this whole parents trying to be 'friends' with their children thing. I want to be friends with my child in the sense that I want her to be able to approach me and talk to me openly about various subjects, as she would one of her peers, but I am her parent, first and foremost, not her bestest buddy. She doesn't like something? Tough cookies, kiddo. If she ever acts the way my sister does, I am sending her to the convent. Mark my words!!! LOL

I was raised with respect for my elders and to appreciate what I have, and I expect nothing less from my child. I could talk to my mother about anything, she was always bailing me out when she probably should have not, but while she saved me with one hand she'd punish me with the other. She pretty much gave me free rein to do what I wanted, but also made me quite aware that if I chose to do something wrong, I had to take the consequences with that. My mother is very passive, and very smart. 'So you went out and had a few drinks in the woods when you were supposed to be at a movie? That's fine. No riding lessons.' There was no arguing, no yelling, I wasn't 'in trouble', but I was made quite aware that she giveth and she could easily taketh away. I wasn't bound by rules so I never rebelled against them simply to disobey her like some kids, I was never grounded per se, but if I did something wrong, I lost out big time, end of discussion. I was allowed to mess up, and ate humble pie more than enough times. Oh, she was good, I aspire to be like her.

Kids today are near impossible to like. I don't understand it. My parents did good by me, now they let my sister rule the roost, and 90% of kids her age are like that. Makes me wonder what happened, and why this is 'the way things are done' now. Fashionable maybe? Fashionable for kids amoungst their peers to act as the do, and fashionable for parents to be open-armed friendly people? I feel bad for the people who's kids walk all over them. My mother goes through such grief over my sister's antics. I drove her nuts, yea, but I didn't cause her such stress. The mind, it boggles.

As you know, I am the youngest of 5. However, I was not let off any easier... that I know of.

I never had a hand laid on me, however, the threat was enough. (Especially the threat of my pants down, and over her knee in a public place! lol)

I was harder to deal with as a teenager..but still respected my elders. I may have been a bit saucier , but it was always brought to my attention that I was being saucy, I don't remember getting into an argument. My mother's decision was the last one.

it's appalling to me how kids act these days, and that their parents will sit there and argue with them instead of putting their foot down.
They would be more respected by their kids if they did stick to their word instead of letting them off so easy or just giving up.
Kids that bad mouth their parents behind their back..and some right to their face!! Its' crazy!

I look back, and although I was not the worse out there, I do know the things I did wrong..and I still apologize to my mom or dad, to this day, for putting them through some of the things I did.. lol

I had a friend..who's mom let her do what she wanted, like a friend.. no curfew, no punishment.. (I mean taking the car in the middle of the night for joy rides..huge parties at the house etc)...

She expressed to me (When we were back in high school), how she envied that my mom cared enough about me to set rules... like a curfew for example. I, at the time, thought HER mom was cool for NOT setting any rules... Funny how that works eh?

It doesn't teach a child anything by letting them get away with negative behavior. They grow up expecting life outside of the home, to be just as lenient, and it is not.

There is no question that many kids today are out of control! One of the biggest things is that you have too many kids having kids. They know nothing about parenting, most don't have the support system they need to help them ...or they won't ask for help because they think they know it all and you end up with kids that are brought up with no respect ..... they respect nothing, especially themselves, or authority figures. Their parents simply don't know how to be good parents. It breaks my heart to see the state that some kids are in. Drugs are too easily accessible, and there are so many drugs out there that we never heard of when we were growing up.

Another issue in my opinion is the 'system'. Kids are taught in school that you cant 'spank' them because it borders on child abuse and they can call children services and report you. Parents are scared and don't want to take the risk so they don't punish, its a real viscious cycle. I got my share of good smacks growing up and it certainly didn't hurt me.

a topic that stirs the blood and get all different points of view.............I dare not start for it is all I would do for the day....

some kids need to be sent to SUMMER SCHOOL..(thats a euphenism)

some parents need to be sent to Jail

some LAWS need to be changed

some kids need real help

but the whole idea ........SOMEONE HAS TO BE THE ADULT......THAT SHOULD BE THE PARENT........NOT THE KID.

well said Joan.. your sooooooo right..

allot of it i find as well is that there are laws now that there weren't back then. I know young kids that have said I DARE you to send me to the hall way, I'll just call the cops and charge you for sexual harassment if you lay a finger on me.. they KNOW these laws and what they can be disciplined with.. kids know too much IMO these days.

on the other side of it, the court system (at least here) is pretty messed up. a teacher got sent to jail because of an incident like this, yet because a 3 year old girl who DID get sexually abused called her vagina "flower" (or something along the lines of that) instead, the judge let the abuser walk because the child didn't know! that's something that boils my blood as well.. i don't think we have to be teaching children at 2 or 3 the reproductive system.

but back on topic, I have also noticed parents of the generation below me and a few of my friends parents, are trying to stay on the kids good side and become best friends with them. Where both my parents work so much when i was younger and i moved away for school now i barely see them, i think i have a healthy relationship with them now and LOVE THEM to pieces, but i wouldn't consider them my BEST FRIEND?! i hate seeing adults that dress like their kids, they constantly are telling us to take responsibility and GROW UP, yet they can't fallow threw themselves? My parents given me allot, but i go out of my way to get the best marks i possibly can and make sure i thank them daily.

oh my, oh my. Quite the subject! I agree that a large percentage of children these days are spoiled rotten and are totally disrespectful. As a parent, I know only too well how tempting it is to "take the easy way out" and just give them what they want, when they want it. And the kids know exactly what buttons to push and when to push them. The problem is that what may be the easy way at the time will rear it's ugly head and bite you in the butt!

I only have one child. Kayla just turned 8 and she can be quite the handful. What I've come to learn is that there's usually a reason behind her behaviour. She usually doesn't know why she's doing what she's doing, and other times I know that it's carefully calculated (evil little troll!). Either she is tired, hungry, or I've been too SOFT on her and she's looking for a fight in order to clarify her boundaries. I want to be the kind of mom that she feels secure in telling things to - even if she knows she did wrong. I've tried to teach her that she MUST tell me if she's done something she knows I wouldn't like (in other words, something WRONG) and that there will be consequences but I won't get MAD. I know that I was always looking for my parents' approval (and still do) so it's important to me that Kayla knows I will always not only love her, but like her. It's her behaviour that is unacceptable, not her.

Most of the saucy, disrespectful, bratty kids that I know have parents that don't set consistent boundaries. I try to let Kayla know AHEAD of time what the consequences of her action (or inaction) will be - and that way she is the one responsible for the end result. Not me. I could go on and on and on. I know that every day is a challenge and it's friggin hard to always be the adult. There are times I'd love to scream at her, put her head through the wall or just run away, but I know that it's not what I signed up for. The old "lead by example" also applies to parenthood.

Gymnastics had also had a HUGE impact on Kayla's life because it provides focus, dedication, discipline and team work. The lessons she learns there are ones that I wouldn't be able to teach her as well. It's great to get your kids involved in something with structure. But on the other hand I see lots of kids who are so programmed that they wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they had an hour by themselves.

I'm hoping that Kayla will turn out to be a kind, honest and FUN person.

So that's my little rant/comment.

Interesting topic after spending 15 days in Disney World. Let me tell you, there's no better honeymoon birth control on Earth than what we saw on a daily basis there. Kids screaming and punching and kicking to get what they wanted and absolutely no discipline, no harsh words, no reprimand, not EVEN a slap on the wrist! Kids were absolutely wild. Of course my husband, (who wants a litter of about a dozen kids) kept repeating that it's not the kids' fault, it's the parents'. Which I agree with entirely, but that just enforces my argument for NOT having any (ever) -- we have no clue how to be parents and I'm terrified of ending up with something that I don't know how to handle.
I think you've got it right, Joan, "but the whole idea ........SOMEONE HAS TO BE THE ADULT......THAT SHOULD BE THE PARENT........NOT THE KID."

Geesh Wendy.......sure hope you didnt let those little ****** spoil yours and Johnnys time........but it would have been hard to ignore and not just step out of the queue and bop someone on the back of the head.......I always have to keep my hands in my pockets and my mouth zipped for sure.....I have slipped on occasion but did not regret it........but we are starting to SWING BACK.....the PENDULUM has hit the apex of stupidity and is now coming back around to COMMON SENSE and control...........no more belts or ruler smacking or sticking them in stockades........but no more....you cant touch me I'm a juvenile......I can do what I want .....its coming......I can smell it on the wind............hahahaha........

Kids are like puppies. If you want a puppy to turn into a wonderful dog you need to teach it HOW to be wonderful. Same with kids!