Good thoughts needed PLEASE

Well I have been MIA for sometime now..Thanks JJ for noticing....

Long story short version........IN the last year it has been a long haul....I try to do the best I can for everything surrounding my family and horses and relocation program....

Won't give any personal info but sometimes life throws curve balls that are so hard to catch we think all we are looking at is losing the game.....No matter how hard you try you can't catch the ball let alone hit it the ball with the bat.....

Anyways. 2 weeks ago we had a huge wind storm. Our neighbours barn colapsed right in front of my eyes. It was a barn that was part of teh heritage of the community I live in....Sad to see her colapse but she was leaning there eventually....No animals were stabled there as it was no longer being used.

The day after we woke up to our 2 ton shelter flipped over on it's roof. UNable to flip her back we dismantled it and have to start all over again. $1800 down the drain.....I need to rebuild for teh only 2 horses we are going to be keeping here.......

Part of the family wants to get rid of teh horses as they have lost interest and the other half wants to keep their 2...so 2 horses go up for sale.....I tried to build my dream adn am noe looking at it float away and fast.........So sad.......

Anyhow. with the dismantling of teh shleter I must have hurt my back really bad....I have scoliosis since I was young and I could not bare the pain any longer so went to the Dr yesterday 12/11/2009/

He ordered antinflamatories for my elbow - shoulder and emergency Xrays for my back......I took a quick peak and it does not look good.....My curve seems to have seriously shifted. Hence probably why I have been in so much pain.....As a tenager growing up I declined back surgery as I was a firm beleiver exercise and a regular routein could make it better and it improved it alot over 2 years after I removed the brace...Well I remember what it used to look like and it was certainly not what I saw today......The tech was surprised...She says don't quote me on this but it is a serious curve......


Now teh positive thoughts where needed.......Please let me still be able to keep my family together and my horses.....Let them not tell me I need surgery or I can never ride again.......

I jsut want to be happy.....That;s all.

What a horrible time you've had lately. It seems like it's all coming at you at once. You do such a wonderful job as Ambassador and Guardian Angel to the Standardbreds. I will be thinking positive thoughts for you and remembering you in my prayers. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say we're here for you. If you just need a place to vent - we're here. If you need some comforting words - we're here. If you just need to forget everything for a few minutes and have a laugh - we're here. You've done so much for so many. Just take one day at a time.

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Tammy has said it so well, i can not add more but just second what she has said, we are here!!!!! and surgery has changed so much they can do wonderful things now, and nothing can beat the power of the mind, if you want to be able to ride again you will make that happen !!!!!

go out and buy vials of cortisone.............I will inject them...........it will hurt like Bleeding heart and you may have to bite on something hard, but after an hour or two............you will beel much better..............good luck kiddol........sometimes life gets easier withou negative vibes all around us.

I think you are the type of person that like to please EVERYONE!!!!! Sometimes these are the people that unfortunitly get put on the back burner or steped on...You need to almost start being a little selfish and start thinking about yourself.....Because right now trying to make everyone else happy is not making you truly happy....Don't give up on horses even if you do eventually have to downsize, do that....But don't take the horses out of your life because take it from me you will regret it forever....They are probably your therepy right now weather you realize it or not......

As far as the barns blowing over that just sucks!!!! But I wish I had a barn.... I have to board and because of that I can't go see my horse today and that sucks!!!!

Sending great vibes your way!!!!!

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Take some time to look after you. Hope all goes well.

thanks everyone....It is so hard to do - downsize.....I have never ever had to deal with it or even think of it.....I do have inquiries on the horses at stake and fabulous homes....So hoping that goes well.....
I also have my trailer up for sale as I am a firm beleiver it was a bad vibe to buy it and i jumped the gun too soon.

I am working hard on putting all my efforts into my husband and son and trying way too hard for my daughter who is being the selfish one right now....It seems she is trying to make me look like the big bad wolf and trying to break the family apart.....I am so lost right now.....Hubby is just as lost.....

Horses are my dream and I won't give them up even if it means just running my program.....I want to keep the 2 senior horses here as I could not bare seeing them go to someone else......

I want to thank everyone for their support.....

Have not heard back from teh Xrays as of yet.......I will try to keep my chin up..........but it is not easy.......I still feel like a failure

Giselle - you are not a failure!! - it seems to me you are getting overwhelmed.....don't beat yourself up - there are always enough around to do that for you....

try to remember - raising teenagers sucks!

Sorry to all the wonderful teenagers on here....I don't mean you LOL

I think girls and their mothers have the toughest time, with me, extra fun, I was the ugly stepmother....and perhaps, still am...but you know what? All you can do is the best you can do.


But they do grow up, and the hurts will heal...eventually. And in fact, now that my son has sons of his own, we have a great chuckle together over the things he used to get into!! Funny now, in hindsight...not so much then. I just can't wait until they are teenagers.....hee hee.

So sorry you are going through a rough patch. You are a good person with a great heart - you have saved so many horses, now it may be time to concentrate on you for awhile. Take care, and I hope you get good news from the Dr's.

Thanks EM......I am still without news on my X-rays - All I know is a specialist has looked at them and sent them to a surgeon for a second opinion.


i am so scared right now....Wish I had not declined this surgery wehn I was 16.......

I will feel so empty knowing I can never ride again for a very long time......

How to deal with it all..Hubby living in anothercity - daughter being selfish and just trying to continue to live a positive life with all this negative around me..........

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